And wait, as in Trust and Wait. A friend said these words to me yesterday in an email she sent, and immediately I knew that learning to wait was my hurdle to jump along with trust. Funny how we get the pieces to the puzzle just as we need it! I sort of got it at the time I read it, but it was really a few hours later that I was driving and mulling it over that I said to Kem, yeah, I really need work in this “waiting” department.
I am someone who cannot wait on anything. I sometimes flip to the end of a book and read the last page, and then resume and finish the book. I can’t stand to wait on how something will turn out. I’ve mentioned watching Once Upon A Time. Well, I’m watching it on Netflix and so I have read the Wiki on the entire show nearly, because I can’t stand wondering what happens to my favorite characters. In the Song of Ice and Fire series (A Game of Thrones for those of you who haven’t read the books), the author nearly killed me with the end of the most recent book. Waiting does not sit well with me. I want to know HOW IT TURNS OUT. This is no different with my daughter’s situation, or my mother’s or my own for that matter. How. When. Where. And time marches on, but so very slowly.
I’ve already mentioned how I have to wait until basically next Thursday to find out the results of my daughter’s upcoming biopsy. I am in the trust phase, because my intuition and higher self have told me how it will turn out but I am waiting on the science. I thought I had my mother’s nursing home situation worked out…not so fast! The place I thought I would put her doesn’t have a bed, and the two that have answered the hospital referral did not call me back on Friday. I get it – it’s Friday and you are slacking off and whatever, but I am at home WAITING all weekend on resolution. In a way I have to laugh. This is my lesson and hasn’t got much to do with the folks at those facilities.
And yesterday, I went to a cooking class at a local Thai restaurant. The owner was a Bangkok native and anyway, that wasn’t lost on me. I don’t know what Bangkok symbolizes to you, but to me it’s the embodiment of mystery, intrigue, excitement, danger, and the unknown all rolled up into one. It’s like an ancient pit of stuff. Yeah, stuff. And just like in the movie The Hangover, can you make it out alive? LOL! I always love how my guides manage to give me messages. We definitely have the same sense of humor. Oh, and I can’t fail to mention how much I love the song One Night in Bangkok. “One night in Bangkok and the world’s your oyster,” but it also says “One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble.” It’s full of angels and devils. What a perfect metaphor for my current dark night of the soul.
Well, I am feeling better about this trust thing or rather my success at it, but am still working on being OK with waiting. This is definitely a life-changing lesson for me and it’s very uncomfortable to let go of control, trust, AND wait. Ha ha! What a wild ride!
Namaste,
Anna
