Well, I still wallow in my latest soul lesson. I can see the big picture, how I am preparing myself, in this human Earth vessel, for greater understanding, a greater expansion of right-action, and less judgment. But the lessons that make a real impact are the hardest. I can’t tell you why this time it has hit me so hard, and not even the personal part that I am not sharing, just the whole thing. The best I can come up with is that this time, I had to truly get it. It had to stick. I may not be able to control everything (or anything) but I can be responsible for my Self, for my actions, and for my reactions. Somewhere in the last month or so I lost track of that and now the Piper must be paid in blood.
Dramatic metaphors I know, but I pick my metaphor based on the deepness of the emotion.
I’ve mentioned over and over that I am a student for many years of Emotional Clearing, and that I learned the Keys of Compassion method. So I went back to my original mentor’s website yesterday and pored over some old material to try to understand what I was feeling, why, and to figure out how to release it. I thought I’d share what I have learned thus far.
I want to share my chronological day with you though, because it makes the whole journey quite interesting. I woke up and the first words on my lips – out loud – were “I have to Atone.” Then I had the thought, I need to fast (that didn’t last, but I wasn’t so hungry yesterday). More on this in a bit.
I have been tying up a lot of loose ends in my Understanding lately. I use capital letters when I mean something big, more official and overarching than a normal word. So my Understanding is being increased yet again. I am shifting to another “level” to use our limited language. For instance, if I show you a pea, you will then understand what you are looking at when I show you a pod of peas. Without understanding the pea, you will not understand a pod of them even though you see them. Then I can show you the plant the pod grew on, and you will understand then a lot about peas. This is universal – we build on information, which becomes knowledge, which then becomes wisdom at some point if we continue.
So onward…one of the things I am understanding now is the Christ Consciousness. The idea of this was condensed into a religion, which really took the heart out of it all. I admit, I mostly reject religion. I think it’s a terrible thing, written by man and teaching people to rigidly follow a lot of metaphoric and misrepresented information. Some love the experience of religion, and at the same time can see the wheat among the chaff. Some cannot. I can’t abide any of it.
But I now understand the Christ Consciousness as a vibration and a “level” of Understanding and mastery in a way I never did before, and that is important for my journey and for yours. Hundredth money stuff, ya know?
I also came to the realization about judgment. Any ensouled being will judge themselves much more harshly than anything else in creation. And we have such a hard time forgiving, or releasing, ourselves. Part of the Formula is “Can I release myself from blame?” Well, I don’t know if I can. There is a fine line between taking responsibility and releasing yourself from blame.
Which led me to my root cause, and that is all of the blame I have carried since Erin’s death. I was fairly clean before that and had worked damn hard to get there. But so much I had not taken responsibility for, personally, and that led to a lot of regret. How can I not regret things? I certainly do. I own that. And shit, stuffing that regret instead of putting it out with the trash has now led to more regret and self-blame. Hey, at least I see it.
Somewhere in the midst of all of this I realized that it was Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. I had to laugh! Wow. Ok well what a great time of year I picked for this one. They also fast on Yom Kippur by the way, which is why my intuition told me to fast, and I did until after 10 am.
Well either way, I am working on the atonement, although I don’t’ know specifically how. There’s an upcoming stargate in a few days and I know that I need to be “clean” going through it, and I plan to be. By the way, us spiritual people look at atonement a bit differently. We see At ONE ment. We are all one, and we unite our individual “selves” as one as well.
Ok, I’m getting down into the weeds here…I can feel it. So, Namaste, blessings, and #missingerin
