August is almost over! Yes! It is my most terrible month, symbolizing all that is horrible in my world. But you knew that already. What some of you may not know is that it used to be a favorite month, because it’s the month of my birthday. I used to celebrate ME a lot. So much so that it was out of balance and I was a somewhat shitty person (Ok, fairly shitty person). Being a Leo did not help, nor did growing up in a dysfunctional family where my mother told me all the time how superior I was to everyone else. Did me no favors. But alas, here we are present day and I see the error of my ways. Too bad many of the hardest realizations came about in my most terrible month, and are now emblazoned on my soul in the most painful way.
I am crippled in many ways. I was full-steam ahead with tarot reading, and had to go back into my cocoon which means I haven’t been reading for anyone. I want to share with others, share in a manner that serves them, but I cannot so much as reach out by telephone at this point. It will shift, yes, but the shifts take a lot of time to happen. I go through them over and over so I already know. Oh, and did I mention that my service can’t take me to a place where I may become overly emotionally involved? Yeah, that’s a problem. Even though I feel yours too, I can’t be too close to them. Mine are overwhelming as it is.
So that was the long way of saying that I end August emotionally paralyzed and crippled. No they are subtly different if you were about to ask. But some good did come out of August…
Had another life-lesson in responsibility. That one was rather personal and so I will not share it here, but, let me just say that it was understood differently this time. In order to gain personal power (regain it), you have to take full responsibility for you. I am responsible for my personal (self) power. Thus, I must exercise that responsibility or give my personal power away. It doesn’t go both ways. I realize this is convoluted…needs to be fleshed out and I will soon. I think it goes with my old article called Complete Integrity. Anyway, self-mastery has many components, but responsibility is sort of the tie that binds. The glue if you will.
That lesson was painful for me, but I have moved on. Now I’m refocused on getting my house sold. We found one nearly finished that we like and we may make a contingent offer at the end of this week. I’ve begun to wonder if Erin really wanted us to move, if there was no sense in it due to some impending catastrophe, etc. Either way, I need to break away from this energy and move to the next place. Erin will always be able to find me, no matter what. Our bond is energetic and does not require physical coordinates to be known in advance. So I would like to get on with it.
Oh, and I am beginning to learn about essential oils and have bought a starter kit via Young Living. I have always thought I would like to do that, and I had the opportunity so here I am. I hope to integrate that into my offerings soon…if I ever get back to having offerings. SMH and UGH. Someone help me to move my butt!
Ok, that’s all the rambling for now. Blessings, Peace, Namaste, Nutsmaste, #missingerin and #LovingErin <3 <3
