Well, sort of anyway. I’ve been quiet again. I can’t seem to motivate myself to speak up or speak out unless I’m really wound up, and then the communication doesn’t come out as planned. But I am self-sabotaging again by not speaking, so here goes.
By self-sabotaging, stress has caused me this time to gain weight around my mid-section. I at least partially have this happen when I don’t process it, and I don’t process it when I’m not verbal. I have been verbal all of my life, just ask any of my relatives or childhood friends. The problem was that I was too verbal and said many things that I now deeply regret, so I swung too far in the other direction. That’s the story of my life – finding balance. Where is it? I truly do not know.
So here are a few of my burning thoughts for today…
I am still deeply troubled by the censorship and the agenda that I see involving the Maxines. Yes – figure that out for yourself and if you guessed a “Vee” instead of an “Emm” you guessed correctly. I really don’t need the trouble of getting on a black list. That said, here are a few thoughts for you…
One, censorship of any kind is un-American. That is not what we fought for in any of our fights. It’s not what we stand for. We have the right to free speech – maybe not hate-speech but free speech and discussion. We have the right to disagree with the official party line or with any party line. Censorship is like book burning and it’s wrong. The censorship alone should make 100% of us question what the hell is going on.
Two, we have the right to choose what goes into our bodies and to make informed decisions. I’ve done that and I don’t agree with the propaganda – yes I said it – that is being put out. Sometimes it contradicts itself in the same paragraph and if you use your eyes and ears and brain, you’ll see a different reality staring you in the face. But I digressed…back to informed decisions. I have seen people who support abortion because my body my choice fervently push me to put this into my body like I have no choice. And it does not compute. I do not understand what cool aid they are drinking.
But you know what I do understand? Fear. And I see lots of it, and that makes people give up their rights and trample on the rights of others. And that’s sad, and scary.
I see things many people don’t see. I see patterns and underlying reasons. That’s one of the talents I use in my job. I’m also a BA in History with a minor in Anthropology, and I see history repeating itself.
It’s hard because no one wants to hear. I get it – it’s negative. It’s asking them to rethink or let go of their beliefs, of their safety net, of their world view. But I can’t say silent, although sometimes I do. And I also can’t save the entire world, just myself. I’m carrying a burden no one asked me to carry because I see the consequences, and it’s heavy.
I could say more but let me move on to Helios, our latest rescue kitty. The vet diagnosed him with FIP back in August, and honestly I didn’t believe them. Long story but true story. I did have Sharon Parrish, our homeopathic practitioner, treat him for two months and he has hung in there. I know how homeopathy works and I believe we gave him a good foundation for healing but started him on a regimen of GS 5 days ago (today is day 6 of 84). This poor baby has me so worried, it’s almost like reliving Erin’s illness again. FIP is fatal but GS will cure it. Homeopathy also cures. But whether HE will be cured is not within my realm of control. But I am not giving up until he makes it clear it’s time to do that, if he does.
I also am finally transferring to an actual group at work. Yay! I’ve been “at-risk” for months now waiting for the right position, and believe you me the universe has withheld other positions from me lol. Closed doors in other words. I knew that the right one would pop up effortlessly and it did – yay! But the wait over the last 5+ months has been brutal. Then the #mandate (#nomandates) complicated things for me but I was granted an exemption. That doesn’t necessarily help me right now but it did buy me time for this BS to get thrown out via the courts.
The job changes means a little stress though, because it’s a new team and pressure to perform. I have been doing administrative work mostly and it has been a nice lull. Getting off after 8 hours has been nice too.
Back to Helios. I have to give that poor baby a shot once a day. It hasn’t been going well. I’m not skilled and one day had to jab him 3x. That wasn’t a good day – he was bruised and honestly has appeared to backslide a bit since after sleeping all day. I’m still hopeful though, but hate having to jab him. I don’t like needles.
I plan on starting a blog section or page simply for posting links to material for your awareness. I really want you to make up your own mind and contribute to your own conclusions. That means you will need to read and make decisions for you. All that I offer you comes from my own truth and my opinion.
Love and blessings <3
