Nicole
Author's posts
Jan 21
The Age of Suffering
I haven’t written in a few days, and this time not because I am busy. I have become extremely depressed again. I have what I assume is PTSD, because I have vivid images and “movies” that play in my mind of Erin laying in the ICU, dying, the short time before she was unconscious, the …
Jan 18
Looks are Deceiving
I have been thinking lately about how everyone thinks I am so strong. They have no idea the strength it takes just to be alive every day. But they also have no idea how weak I am. For instance, although I am personally against the idea, I would sell my very soul in a heartbeat …
Jan 16
Into the Weird
I find that in the past few days, as I have been busy with work and other things, I have blocked my grief out as much as I possibly can. I both like and do not like how that makes me feel. Getting immersed in other people’s stuff makes me forget my own. But then …
Jan 15
Hard Days Night
I wanted to post yesterday but I have been extremely busy. I started coming back into “the office” to assist with a contract transition and close out, and will be here for awhile most every day. It has been a nice distraction because “work me” smiles and chats and tries to uplift my staff. It’s …
Jan 11
The Value of Peeling the Onion
Before I write, I asked for clarity on my topic and pulled Indecision: I use my intuition in all aspects of life. That is a good reminder, because my topic came about after a rash of second guessing myself yesterday in regards to some advice and a conversation I had while having dinner with a …
Jan 08
Fear, or What the Heck?!
I posted something earlier on Facebook attributed to Nelson Mandela that said “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” It has a few more lines that reiterate that, and I’m not sure why that is so important to focus on but it occurred to me to reexamine it now. I …
Jan 07
Come As You Are
This is my second draft. I began writing a minute ago, not knowing what I was supposed to say, and then discovered to my dismay that something here in my editor was bugging me. I only mention this because there are no coincidences, and as such I see two things that I need to pay …
Jan 05
The Bracelet, or Linda’s Eulogy by Nicole
As you can see, this bracelet is well-worn. It was given to my mother, Linda, by her sister Shirley, in 2012 for her birthday. It doesn’t look like much, but if you knew Linda it says a lot about her. First, she loved gifts and gift giving when she still had her mind. The nice …
Jan 02
Looking Back
I would have liked to write this on December 31, but unfortunately as soon as I made arrangements with the funeral home for my mother I came down with a terrible cold. It was coming on the 30th, but held off until I had that done, then it hit me with full force. I have …
Dec 22
Musings and Stuff…Mostly Stuff
Before I get off track, enjoy this front and back picture of the beautiful angel that my neighbor Kate L. gave us on Saturday. She said she looked for a fairy, because she knew Erin loved fairies, but they are “out of season.” This angel is beautiful though, and I know Erin will love it …