Nicole
Author's posts
Oct 24
ATWT
That’s a throwback for you old soap watching people! Ok, maybe not old, but you know what I mean. As the World Turns…that was my theme earlier when I was running an errand and wondering what to title my evening post. Although, I no longer recall why it was relevant. That might be a good …
Oct 23
More Stuff, and Things
I am all over the place this morning. I woke up tired and upset, and felt like I actually had something missing in my heart chakra area. I am not sure I’ve quite felt that way yet, and so it was noticeable. I notice all sorts of subtle changes in myself on a daily basis …
Oct 22
Acceptance
So yesterday I had a session with my grief counselor, and today I just went to the Formula’s page to remember what the next step was, with intentions of finishing it up of course. Here’s what I found: 6. Can I accept the role that Erin has played, along with her actions, to help me …
Oct 21
Uh, Ugh…Sigh
I know I said that I would finish the Formula of Compassion on Erin today, but I am not sure that I can just yet. For whatever reason, it opened up a lot more emotion and I have had a hard time dealing with it. Ok, I just lied. It’s about letting go. If I …
Oct 20
Overwhelming Emotion
This morning, I thought “I want to write!” But I had to ask myself why. It’s not so much that I have something to say. It’s more that I have to find an outlet for these overwhelming emotions that constantly bombard me. I don’t invite them in. They come uninvited and in large groups. It’s …
Oct 18
Stuff and Things
Yeah, I took a page out of the Walking Dead lore with this title. I guess I must be walking around just like Rick did after Lori died doing stuff and things. You know, nothing of importance or that you can even remember. And the irony is that what I have left of Erin is …
Oct 16
Surrender
I have no post title at writing time today. Not sure why that is so significant to me, but it signals to me that I feel the need to write yet have no direction. I can say that I have come to some stark realizations as of late, and it has left me with a …
Oct 14
The Don’t Cares
Well, I have been busy since Friday and unable to post. I tried yesterday but was kept busy by my aunt who is visiting. I come from a family of talkers, and whether she meant to or not she talked my ear off all day and left me little time to grieve. LOL! I guess …
Oct 10
Sucks
Getting ready to travel to my relatives home for the big game, but I’m a little sad this morning. I was a lot sad last night. I don’t fault Shaun for going to visit friends, so don’t take this that way, but when I am alone at night I seem to fall apart. Around 10pm …
Oct 09
Schisms of Self
I am really not sure how I am feeling today. I feel that I am on the edge of a cliff of emotion, losing my grip and ready to fall right off into an abyss. I am avoiding Erin’s pictures, and all remembrances of her for the most part. I woke during the night longing …