Nicole
Author's posts
Sep 18
Just UGH
I had planned to share some stories about things people have told me happened after Erin’s death this morning, but I did not wake up with a smile on my face so I’m going to table it for now. I woke up panicked again. I knew she was dead and not missing, but the feeling …
Sep 17
Teetering this Morning
Well today is a new day, and it could go either way at this point. I had a relatively good night last night and I did notice but I was unsure why. At some point during my decent evening, a friend sent me an article that happened to be about Alexander the Great and Hephaestion. …
Sep 16
This Journey…
You know, I just realized something. Well, I have been “uncomfortable” with “polluting” my metaphysical website, which I have had for many years (I know I don’t update it much), with my unending grief. But I had a revelation. The subtitle is The Journey Home. This is part of the journey home, for me. Maybe …
Sep 16
Nothing
I have no title today. Usually I write the title first. It just pops into my head and there it is, and then I write and usually it fits somewhat at least. Today there is nothing. I have been saying I feel empty and perhaps this “nothing” in my mind has caught up to the …
Sep 15
Ups N Downs
I must say I have more downs than ups lately. And I have noticed a few things that don’t make me feel much better about anything. First, I have noticed that when I look into Erin’s room, I now Know (big K) that no one lives in there anymore. Even the items on her walls …
Sep 14
Life, the Great Teacher
The past few days have been utterly terrible for me. It is difficult to start a day when you already feel bad. Emotions do affect how your physical body feels. Think about it…when you are upset, you get a sick stomach or a headache or something. In metaphysics they call it the Emotional Body, and …
Sep 13
Meow
I am starting this off with a surprise message I found from Erin yesterday. She had apparently gotten into one of my work binders, written what you see in the picture, and I found it yesterday as I was preparing to go to a business meeting. It made me smile. Then I realized that not …
Sep 12
Will it EVER End?
I had a break down yesterday afternoon. It lasted all evening. I managed to have a good night’s sleep, but I woke up this morning, tired, and immediately felt depressed. I had a lunch appointment with my grief counselor, and the entire drive there I felt exactly like I did two weeks ago on my …
Sep 11
Erin’s Pixie Hollow Fairies
Enjoy – these were the pictures she printed of her fairies and her favorite outfits before Pixie Hollow closed. I finally figured out how to make a gallery, so just click on the individual pictures and scroll.
Sep 11
The Cleansing Fire
This morning, so far, I am teetering on the brink of sadness and being OK. I think I am mostly OK. For now. I have just realized that I am being “gutted by fire” at the moment. Erin’s death left me empty enough already, and I had previously described myself as a house that had …