I have been thinking lately about how everyone thinks I am so strong. They have no idea the strength it takes just to be alive every day. But they also have no idea how weak I am. For instance, although I am personally against the idea, I would sell my very soul in a heartbeat …
Category: Grieving
Jan 05
The Bracelet, or Linda’s Eulogy by Nicole
As you can see, this bracelet is well-worn. It was given to my mother, Linda, by her sister Shirley, in 2012 for her birthday. It doesn’t look like much, but if you knew Linda it says a lot about her. First, she loved gifts and gift giving when she still had her mind. The nice …
Dec 22
Musings and Stuff…Mostly Stuff
Before I get off track, enjoy this front and back picture of the beautiful angel that my neighbor Kate L. gave us on Saturday. She said she looked for a fairy, because she knew Erin loved fairies, but they are “out of season.” This angel is beautiful though, and I know Erin will love it …
Dec 16
Facing the Darkness
I start out today not knowing the title, so when I figure it out it will be news to me but you will have already read it. After having a somewhat good day yesterday, I felt very sad and depressed last night. I cried myself to sleep again. One thing that kept going through my …
Dec 15
Some Kindness for Us Grievers
I want to write today about experiences over the weekend, but first let me tell you about the card I just pulled for myself. I had the strong urge today to pull from my Messages from Your Angels deck by Doreen Virtue. I don’t pull from this deck much. I actually bought it for my …
Dec 09
Deep Sadness and Not Much More
Ugh, well I’ve been trying to write a blog post for three days now. If you know me well, you will know that when I hold it all in I am really upset and hurting. Well, maybe people don’t know that who know me well, because I am holding it in 🙂 Hey, I can …
Dec 01
Holiday Blues
Post holiday blues, holiday blues…take your pick because this entire season is going to be ridiculously tough for me. I struggle more on the inside, so when you see me you may think I look fine. Or, if you know me well, you can see it just under the surface. I keep a lid on …
Nov 22
Unhappy Blah
Well, today wasn’t very happy for me. There was nothing inherently wrong with it, but I am sad and lonely. I have much, and have some degree of gratitude for it. I have a good husband who I love dearly and have since the day we met. I have a nice home, clothes and food, …
Nov 19
In Da Club
I had already written once, and never published it, about others who grieve. There is some horrible kinship with these people, and I mean horrible in the nicest sense of the word. It’s horrible because who in the hell wants to feel this way? NO ONE! Now that I am part of this awful club, …
Nov 13
Balance, and Some Other Stuff
I have sooooo much that I want to say today. Like I am bursting with it, which is funny because I am generally just tired. I’m the sort of tired, maybe weary, that makes you wake up and think of things you have planned in 3 days that you decide you are too tired to …