I began writing this yesterday and got sidetracked so many times that I thought I would remember what I wanted to say, but alas, I do not. I did keep what I wanted to include though, and I hope it’s not too disjointed for you all to follow. I have had an immensely hard time …
Tag: #missingerin
May 12
Blessed
This past year I became a fan of a guy named Matt Kahn. I have enjoyed his YouTube videos and his message, which is so simple it’s ridiculous and you wonder why you didn’t know that already. He is coming out with a new book but has already done videos on the topic, which is …
May 11
The Sad Reality of “Holidays”
I don’t write this just for me, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t on my mind. For most people holidays generally suck to varying degrees. Think about it…I bet almost all of you have at least once realized how little you enjoy the whole thing due to the stress of it. Stress …
Apr 16
Emerging
I am starting today with no title. I mention that one way or another, because I feel it sets the tone for whatever is to be said. But I do have two topics. The first thing is that book Emergence that I am reading by Barbara Marx Hubbard. Perhaps “assimilating” is a better way to …
Mar 03
Long and Winding Road
Ah, that song, or at least that verse, plays out over and over in my mind today. I was on the way to work this morning thinking that I would write about joy. Not my joy, but the idea that joy instead of constant fear would change the whole world. And it would, but the …
Mar 02
Just…Missing Erin
I don’t know what more seems like a dream: Erin dying, or remembering that I had a daughter. Because neither seem real most days. Her memory is fading, at least in ways that make the absence very pronounced. Her “balloon” that she drew on in early July, all of the air suddenly came out on …
Feb 19
Fighting for My Light
Yes, that’s a play on words. I am truly fighting for my light, which in this case is “life” as it is all that I have left in this “life” so to speak. In that regard, yesterday was a dark day. If I could describe what this level of sadness feels like to you, it …
Feb 18
Survival of the Lightest?
After posting This Little Light, I began thinking about survival. Survival instincts are what really spurred me to write the other blog post to start with. I had a bad night on 2/16, and as I was crying myself to sleep I had a fleeting thought of someone coming into my aunt’s home with a …
Feb 17
This Little Light
By now you probably figured out that I write mostly when my heart is heavy. And it is. There are many things that pile up that make even breathing too hard to bear. “Normal” people cannot understand it, and for good reason. I don’t judge them for it, because it is what it is, even …
Feb 10
Be-Reaved
It had not occurred to me that the meaning of bereaved was literally “torn apart.” That is exactly what happens to you during grief of any sort. While I have to admit to myself that losing a child must be the absolute worst, I also know that grief is relative to the situation and the …